Whether they’re changing a diaper, cleaning the house, doing the dishes, or dealing with the teen drama, there’s no question that moms often do the “dirty work” with no glory. Our mamas are rarely celebrated for all they put up with. But when it comes time to shower them with gifts and praise, it can become stressful trying to guess what they want for special occasions like Mother’s Day (or ask in a “subtle” way that is not subtle at all). That’s why we asked our mom readers and the moms in our lives what they really want for Mother’s Day this year. Make the moms in your life feel celebrated with these gifts that we found they truly love.
The Myth vs. Reality of Mother’s Day Gifts
Turns out not all moms need expensive gifts. (Although most wouldn’t refuse one…) And while the classic go-to gifts like flowers, chocolates, and jewelry aren’t in and of themselves bad, they can sometimes feel basic or impersonal (especially if she doesn’t like flowers). The key is thoughtfulness and intentionality: For instance, if she loves flowers, try buying a rosebush that you can plant in the yard that will produce annual blooms she can use to perfume the house every year instead of just one time. If she’s a candle lover, check the scent’s name and brand and order another online. Practical gifts are also often appreciated, but be careful. You don’t want to send the wrong message by purchasing a vacuum or a phone charger. (Unless, of course, said vacuum is a Roomba that vacuums for her….)
Rest & Relaxation
The best gift you can give is yourself, especially if you have little ones. Send her off alone or with a friend for a spa day or to get a mani-pedi while you stay home with the kids. Moms can’t even pee alone 95 percent of the time, so the chance to have an entire day to be pampered is a luxury she can only dream about. To take this to the next level, encourage her to take a weekend to get away from the hustle and bustle. If that’s not in the budget for the month, let her sleep in, clean up the house, and take the kids on an adventure so she can enjoy some quiet time and a break from her normal daily responsibilities. Letting mama recharge will benefit everyone, because when Mom is happy, everyone is happier.
Quality Time with Family—Without the Stress
While spending quality time together as a family can be fun, it can quickly become draining when Mom has to plan the outing, pack (the diapers, wipes, and emergency snacks won’t bring themselves), and pick up after the kids the entire time. Not to mention if the outing involves a meal: The process of preparing three different meals because your kids are picky is always a hassle. Craft a family day or a family activity that doesn’t require her to lift a finger. This is a great opportunity to involve the kids, particularly older kids: Ask them for ideas on what to do as a family, then get them to help you plan ahead so the pressure doesn’t fall onto Mom. Pick up a charcuterie box and some Lunchables at the grocery store to pack for a picnic at the park on a pretty day, or rent a new kids movie that looks promising and snag some movie popcorn and a tub of ice cream on your way home from work for a cozy, low-pressure family movie night.
It’s in the Detail(ing)
“He doesn’t even see the mess,” a friend recently shared with me. “But I can’t rest until the house is clean.” Many studies’ results show that people with clean houses are happier, healthier, and less stressed than those who have messy or cluttered homes. Disorganization can even lead to difficulty focusing and in making decisions. (And we all know she’s making more than the average 35,000 decisions every day.) But let’s be honest—it only gets worse when all that mess is confined to Mom’s SUV or minivan. This Mother’s Day, give her the gift of a car detail and/or one or two months of a housecleaner. Will the house and the car be a disaster once again approximately four seconds after the kids reenter? Certainly. But those precious few moments of feeling like her world is put together will help keep her sane amid the chaos.
A Personal Touch
Handwritten letters or homemade gifts from your kids may not sell for much online, but they will mean the world to the woman whose blood, sweat, and tears (many, many tears) have gone into forming and maturing that tiny human! Turn it into a fun activity: Gather all the kids around the kitchen table when she’s at the grocery store and have everyone draw a picture or write a card telling her how much they love and appreciate her. No matter your age, a heartfelt “thank you” to the women in your life goes a long way. You can also take the kids with you to go shopping and allow each kid to pick out an item they would like to give her so they feel they have contributed! (Make sure you give them a budget and perimeters, though, or she might end up with $35 slime!)
Date Night
If you can’t remember the last “date” you went on with your spouse (or that your mom went on with her husband), that needs to be remedied. Ask a friend for their babysitter’s number and schedule a date—or give her a gift card to her favorite nice restaurant. Take her to a movie or a fun local event (check our calendar for some ideas)! Spending time away from the kids can be a needed reminder that she is more than just her role as a mother.
The best gift is one that makes the moms in your life feel seen, appreciated, and cared for, whether it’s their favorite coffee, their favorite type of flowers, or a slice of their favorite kind of cake. While the element of surprise can be great, if you start asking about her favorite things and how she best receives love now, she won’t be suspicious and you’ll be prepared come Mother’s Day. Remember that while holidays like Mother’s Day are a great opportunity to celebrate moms, we should take the time to make them feel loved and appreciated throughout the entire year.